I had a baby. She lived inside me for 21 weeks 3 days. Her name is/was Ruby, and I miss her. I mostly had uneventful first trimester, a little morning sickness some sleeping issues and back pain. A clean triple marker, and a great 12 week scan, which gave me peace that all was well. I could start to feel her very early at about 16 weeks. At my 20 week scan the Tech seemed quiet. Not really thinking anything of it, the scan went on and on... almost 40 minutes. She never showed me the heart beat, I never even realized. Why didn't I know. It's amazing how life changes, gets turned on it's head in an instant. I was home for no longer than two hours when the phone rang. My mid-wife telling me my baby has CDH. They could not see all 4 chambers of her heart and assumed the defect was on the right side. I've been in shock since that moment! Everything has been so surreal since then. I live on a small Island so I needed to go to The mainland to see a specialist, the days waiting and not knowing, I don't know how I surrived. 7 specialists later, the facts were in. Ruby had left-sided CDH liver down, her heart was in her right arm-pit her stomach in her chest. All four chambers were beating. Ruby was given chances, there were no answers. I knew in my heart what I needed to do. I didn't want my baby to suffer not even for a second. I kept saying to my-self, I want a healthy baby, I just want a healthy baby. On February 14, after 15 hours of induced labour I got my Valentine. The day I became a mom was bitter sweet, my heart sank, but it also grew. I held my baby for hours, I didn't want to let her go, I never wanted to leave that room. Leaving was the hardest part.